I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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