oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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