he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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