Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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