4 words: hood of his car
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
