come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
