Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
