Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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