Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
