we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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