Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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