is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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