she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
