I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
