I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
