I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
