Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
