youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
