I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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