so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
