Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
