her vagine was all disorganized.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
