Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
