What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
