my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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