I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
