2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
