I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
