I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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