Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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