that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I didn't notice because vodka
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
