how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
