i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
