I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
