i will never coherently bang her
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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