is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
