3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
