You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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