I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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