with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
The best revenge is premature balding
it's like iHOP with fire
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
