...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
