Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
did i walk over a car last night?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
