I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
