All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
