I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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