we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
