you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
