It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
