great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
