i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize