I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
