I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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