Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
