While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
