No, you can still breathe under the balls.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Terrible idea I love it
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
