And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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