That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
