Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
